The Stephanie Files

It’s easy to feel uncared for when people aren’t able to communicate and connect with you in the way you need.  And it’s so hard not to internalize that silence as a reflection on your worth. But the truth is that the way other people operate is not about you.  Most people are so caught up in their own responsibilities, struggles, and anxiety that the thought of asking someone else how they’re doing doesn’t even cross their mind.  They aren’t inherently bad or uncaring-they’re just busy and self-focused.  And that’s okay.  It’s not evidence of some fundamental failing on your part.  It doesn’t make you unlovable or invisible.  It just means that those people aren’t very good at looking beyond their own world.  But the fact that you are-despite the darkness you feel, you have the ability to share your love and light with others, is a strength.  Your work isn’t to change who you are; it’s to find people who are able to give you the connection ...

Do not fall in love darling, rise in love. I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately.  Over the last year in particular I can feel a very significant shift in my views of relationships and what that word means to me.  I didn’t necessarily have an unhealthy view before, but I also feel like over the years I have done a lot of settling.  Why?  Pretty simple-I like to see the best in people, always have.  What I have learned though, is that it is OK to be a little selfish in a relationship.  That word has such a negative connotation behind it, but to be in a truly healthy relationship you have to be getting what YOU need just as much as giving what the other person needs as well. I don’t necessarily think that there is a bad way to love someone, not if love is truly the word that can be used in that situation.  I do however think that there is a BEST way to love someone.   I am really big on the five love languages when it comes to thi...