Ramblings from a former people pleaser...


Great people do great things before they’re ready.  They do things before they know they can do it. Doing what you’re afraid of, getting out of your comfort zone, taking risks like that- that is what life is.  You might be really good.  You might find out something about yourself that’s really special and if you’re not good, who cares?  You tried something.  Now you know something about yourself.
- Amy Poehler


I love this quote and it’s a concept that I have tried to live by over the last few years.  I was stuck, sad, frustrated, and genuinely had no direction.  I had this little square box full of ideas about what my life was supposed to look like and because I wasn’t fitting that mold I thought I was doing it all wrong.  I had “friends” that made me feel inadequate.  I had issues that I had locked deep down inside and refused to face.  I didn’t think I would ever amount to anything.  I hit this huge brick wall and was forced to confront all of the things that I had been lying to myself about. 

I was terrified of taking a leap of faith and I looked at situations in a pass or fail perspective.  What if he doesn’t like me?  What if I put myself out there and someone doesn’t agree or thinks I’m silly or it just doesn’t work out?  I felt that if I was rejected, it was because of something wrong with me.  It never once dawned on me that people are all different and unique and that sometimes I wasn’t going to mesh with someone.  That  just because a guy didn’t like me or someone didn’t include me in their group (or whatever the situation),  that it meant something was wrong with me.

What I failed to grasp is that there are billions of people in this world and it is just impossible to please everyone all the time.  I didn’t once think that maybe if I was being true to myself, following my own passions, making a happy life for myself based on what I love and not on what I think others would love in me, that all of that would fall into place.

Who wants to be surrounded by people who don’t see you as you are and appreciate your quirks?  It is so exhausting to play a role and it is so lonely!  Being vulnerable is scary.  Taking risks is terrifying.  Failing is always a possibility.  Actually, I can safely say I fail constantly.  What I’ve learned after something didn’t go my way is pretty simple though: I didn’t die from the situation, whether it was rejection or messing up or whatever the situation may be.  Sometimes I have found that is not something that I am good at, or even ENJOY.  Often I have come out on the other end being pleasantly surprised by what I have learned about myself in the process.
But did you die


Now, I am far from perfect at this.  Even when I do just dive into the deep end, I have to give myself a big pep talk before hand and sometimes I need a few minutes to lick my wounds afterwards before I find the lesson and silver lining to a situation.  The biggest thing is that I tried.  That YOU try.  And even more so, that you realize that the only person you need to prove anything to is yourself.  If you are not surrounded by people who encourage you, push you to be better, who remind you of how awesome you are in spite of your short comings…. These are not the people for you.  It is best that you recognize this sooner than later and I promise it will do you a world of good.

Perspective is everything folks!  I have two “life verses” that have led me through my journey of self-discovery (or whatever you want to call it.)  Through the good days and bad.  Through times of growth and times when I wondered if the rain cloud would ever lift and I think they ring true for everyone:

 “I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born, says the Lord.”  Isaiah 66:9

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”  2Tim 1:7

The point to this is that I like me, silly quirks and all.  And you should like, correction, LOVE yourself as well.  The ONLY person you should ever compete with is the person you were yesterday and the person you want to be today.  Everything else falls in to place, I promise. It won’t always be smooth and storms always pass through, but the point to remember is they pass.  If I could have learned this lesson 5 years sooner than I did, man… the places I could be today! 

Just some food for thought as you all ponder what your next move will be.  Just do it.  What do you really have to lose?

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