Courage, dear heart...

It’s about that time again.  Every few months, after mulling over things and letting them sit until I have a catalyst, I finally write out everything so that I can better make sense of what in the world is running through my brain.  I am about at that point again.

I know I talk a lot about having courage.  It’s a common theme in my life and honestly, I need reminding of what being brave can accomplish.

It is so easy to talk a big talk, to have big dreams, to want more for your life.  Let me ask you this though- what are you doing to get there?  Big dreams take big plans.  I read an article recently on MindBodyGreen that gave 25 Habits of People who are Happy, Healthy, and Successful and I have to say that I really loved it.  I am not going to put all 25 habits, but I am going to pull from a few that I personally related to in my own journey:

     1.       They don’t hold grudges.

     What happens in life should be taken as a lesson learned and then you move on.  I can tell you that my life got infinitely better when I stopped holding on to old hurts and adapted an attitude of living, learning, and getting over it.
 

4.  They have a supportive tribe, thereby not wasting time with negative or toxic people.
          This was probably one of the hardest things I changed in my life.  I am loyal to a fault and I love hard.  It took a long time to realize that loyalty and love should only be given to those that deserve it.  Do you friends and family lift you up?  Push you to be a better person every day?  Do they support your choices and help you accomplish the things in life that you want for yourself?  THAT is what love is.  If there is someone you keep around that does not do any of these things for you, if you constantly feel bad around them, or not quite yourself….well, it might be time to reconsider your relationship with them.
 

5.  They don’t care about what people think.  Does a tiger lose sleep over the opinion of sheep?

7.  They see difficult and challenging situations as opportunities for personal growth.

8.  They consider handling rejection a skill and are resilient.

13.  Fear doesn't hold them back.  They are ready to take risks.
          This one was probably the hardest for me but truth….totally worth it. 

14.  They know how to say NO and don’t hold back. These people have learned to set boundaries.  Plenty of them.
 

17.  They give without expecting anything in return.

19. Passion is what drives them.

23.  They finish what they start
             I personally feel that this is one of the most important things to take from this article.  You don’t give up.  Even if you know it is not going to work out the way you want, you don’t quit and see things through to the end.
24.  They don’t compare themselves to other people.

             Everyone’s story is different.  What Susey was able to accomplish and how is going to be totally different from your story.  Everyone has personal struggles, issues, and things that help push them and also things they must overcome to get to the finish line.  Looking at how someone else got there or how easy it looked for them to succeed is just narrow-minded in my opinion.  See their accomplishments but never compare them to your own.  YOUR story is beautiful.  Every blood, sweat, and tear you go through to get somewhere is part of what makes you unique.  Own it and don’t worry about other people.

Everyone needs to have dreams and goals.  They’re healthy and that is what keeps us going.  How boring would life be if you just did a job, had nothing to look forward to, and just went through the motions of life?  Coming from a former drone, I can tell you that it isn’t fun.  Let me take it a step further though and emphasize that having dreams and goals and then just sitting on them instead of pursuing them is just as bad.  Your dreams should be big.  They should be bold.  They should scare you a bit. 

Being scared is good for you.  Anything that is a little intimidating is probably exactly what you need to be pursuing.  I wish I had figured this out sooner than later and even now I sometimes still get intimidated.  Taking a leap of faith is hard.  Being vulnerable is terrifying.  What I have learned through all of those trials is that even if I did the big, scary thing and it didn’t work out, I still survived.  I was made stronger for it.  I didn’t let it bring me down and I didn’t let one event mold how I view life and future endeavors.  I think Benjamin Franklin said it best… “I didn’t fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.”  Man, what a GREAT perspective to have on things! 

I don’t want to look back 5 years from now and see that I am in the same place, even if that place is good.  I want the best out of my life.  I want to BE the best person I can be. I want to grow, learn, live, and experience everything I possibly can whether it be good or bad.  That often requires digging deep.  It has sometimes required sacrifice.  It has always required stepping out of the box and bending my expectations and perceptions of what a situation should look like and learning to go with the flow. 

Lets not be mistaken though folks, I have weaknesses.  Quite a few to be exact but the one that has really just brought me to my knees lately is the idea of being vulnerable.  The idea of not being perfect, of making mistakes, of putting myself out there and asking for help, opening up to someone (both platonic-ally and romantically) , or simply putting my bad habits on display to be analyzed is terrifying.  It is my downfall, always has been and I think this will be a lesson I continuously learn until the day I die.

I have had C.S. Lewis running through my mind a lot lately.  The man knew how to make a point and it feel like everything ever written by him was specifically for me.  He just hits home in all of his writings. 

“To love at all is to be vulnerable.  Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken.  If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal.  Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements.  Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness.  But in that casket safe, dark motionless, airless, it will change.  It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.  To love is to be vulnerable.”

I think that if there is one thing I wanted to take away from this year, it would be this right here.  So here I am folks.  Imperfect.  Loud.  Bossy.  Not good with change. Terrified of not being enough or too much.  I love all of me, good and bad but that is not enough.  To really love, to really grow, to really connect you have to be ok with allowing others in to see all of it as well. Not just the good.  ALL of it.

I think that part setting goals is understanding what it will require of you and simply going after it. Career, family, love, friends…. I want it all.  I can have it all, and so can you.  You just need to take that leap of faith.  It might not work out the first time.  People will hurt you, the situation might change, life has a way of throwing curve balls… but the bright side of all of this is that tomorrow is a new day. 

I don’t know about you all, but I want to be the woman who looks back and has no regrets.  So as 2014 comes to an end and we all start to evaluate our year, I hope it is one full of trials and tribulations.  Those are what bring us to our knees, help us build character, and most importantly give us the chance to be brave and bold.

Just remember:  the greatest act of courage is to be and own all that you are.  Without apology.  Without excuses and without any masks to cover the truth of who you really are.