Are you adored?

You deserve honesty.  You deserve transparency.  You deserve someone who respects you enough to never lie to your heart.  You deserve appreciation.  You deserve loyalty.  You deserve someone who would never abuse your trust.  You deserve Love. You deserve someone who would still be there for you even when everyone else has walked away.  You deserve someone who's REAL.  Never settle for less.

 I think the older you get the more true this statement stands out. At (almost) 29, I have tried dating friends, I have attempted online profiles, I have given out my number to the man who bravely introduced himself while I was out enjoying my Friday evening.  What I have learned through it all is quality over quantity. At some point the excitement of just dating was replaced with desiring relationships. Desiring closeness.  Having people I can call at the end of a bad day and just have the option of talking through my thoughts or not talking at all.  Desiring depth.

 What I have found though, is that depth is apparently very difficult to come by. Why is it that?  Is it so hard to just be real with people?  If you like them, to just dive in and be authentic, open, and say what you are thinking, call when you miss someone, and not worry about the rules of dating/ friendships and just go for whatever it is you want to go for?

 Or maybe it is simply that those people just weren't the people I needed in my life. It's so hard to draw that line and tell sometimes.

 What I can tell you is that I will never regret being exactly who I am.  Flawed as I might be, as unattractive as I sometimes feel, and as unaccomplished as I sometimes think I am. I never want to hide, even the parts that have been hurt and broken.  Anyone that is supposed to truly be in your life will not mind these parts.

 So here I am, yet another fork in the road, new chapters being written, and people coming and going. Sometimes I think that I am a lot to handle.  I speak my mind, I have lots of thoughts, I am sensitive, thoughtful, quirky, and a bit on the sassy side.  I love this about me and you know what?  The people that truly care love this about me as well.

 The point to this is that we settle.  We stick it out with the people who give us fuzzies because we think they're great.  Any maybe they are, but just because someone has the things you are looking for in your friendships and relationships, doesn't mean it is going to work out or that they will be around for the long haul.  We get older and the life you want becomes more important to you.  You get that life by being ok with letting go of anything and anyone who brings you down. 

 These days, I am much more selective in who I give my energy to.  I prefer to reserve my time, intensity, and spirit exclusively to those who reflect sincerity.  It's not just about what people tell you, it's their actions and how they make you feel.  Know what you want, who you are, and what you are willing to accept from people.  It is 100% ok to want and need to be appreciated, to hear that you are loved, and require that the actions match up with words.  Anyone worth their salt will call you, will make an effort, and will leave you without any doubts.  Everyone else is just a stepping stone to help you learn about yourself.  The biggest lesson I have taken from this last year is to not take it personally and to say goodbye when a situation is no longer making you feel like you are totally adored.  

 After all, don't you think you deserve it?  I think so.....

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