The Stephanie Files

Balance, my darling, is not letting anybody love you less than you love yourself. I have been told since I was little that people treat you the way you allow them to.  I am a firm believer in this.  I am also a firm believer in giving people a chance to address issues depending on the circumstances.  So what happens when someone isn’t giving you what you need? I have the common female issue of falling in love with words and not actions.  I fall in love with thoughts and ideas and sometimes that just isn’t in sync with reality.  Sometimes it is very easy to see that someone doesn’t care or does not have your best interest at heart.  Sometimes it isn’t that simple.  So what about those not so black and white moments? I can personally attest that there have been times in my life that I have 100% had the best intentions with something but made promises I could not fulfill.   I wanted to, but it just was not possible for one reason or...

Write hard and clear about what hurts -Ernest Hemingway. The man knew what was important.  I've kept a journal since I was little.  I'm not always consistent but there is no denying that I am better on paper than talking about my feelings in person. There is something about being able to take your time and really sort through what you are thinking and just write it all out.  It's raw, and vulnerable.  And a lot of times, you start on one point and end up talking about something else totally different that you might not have even realized was bothering you. Writing helps me get to the root of my feelings in a way that talking cant. I've been dealing with a lot lately.  Lots of work, stress, and time alone on bed rest and not enough time with people.  Well, I guess I should clarify- not enough quality time.  The older I get the more having meaningful relationships is important to me.  Deeply important.   Everyone has their love language...

Sometimes the best thing for your soul is just a day alone. In bed. With your music blasting.  You sing until you're exhausted or you cry or you've figured out whatever it is that has been holding you down. Then you write.  About anything and everything. And if you can't find the words for how you feel?  You sing a little more. Rolling River God  Little Stones are smooth  Only once the water passes through  So I am a stone  rough and grainy still  Trying to reconcile this river's chill But when I close my eyes  and feel you rushing by  I know that time brings change  and change takes time  And when the sunset comes  my prayer would be just this one  that you might pick me up  and notice that I am  just a little smoother in your hand Sometimes raging wild  sometimes swollen high  never have I known this river dry  The deepest part of you  is where I want to stay...