Are you getting what you need?

Write hard and clear about what hurts
-Ernest Hemingway.
The man knew what was important.  I've kept a journal since I was little.  I'm not always consistent but there is no denying that I am better on paper than talking about my feelings in person. There is something about being able to take your time and really sort through what you are thinking and just write it all out.  It's raw, and vulnerable.  And a lot of times, you start on one point and end up talking about something else totally different that you might not have even realized was bothering you. Writing helps me get to the root of my feelings in a way that talking cant.

 I've been dealing with a lot lately.  Lots of work, stress, and time alone on bed rest and not enough time with people.  Well, I guess I should clarify- not enough quality time.  The older I get the more having meaningful relationships is important to me.  Deeply important.  

 Everyone has their love language.  Word of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, physical touch. I don't think there is a wrong way to love someone- if its genuinely love, you have peoples best interest at heart.  I do, however think there is a best way to love someone and that is by really trying to cater to their love language.  For me, it is quality time. It's phone calls, texts, nights curled up on the couch, fun nights out with the ones I love.  It's about getting rid of distractions and just having opportunities to be real- whether that is a night of deep conversations or a night of laughter. That is what makes me feel connected. Life makes it hard to have LOTS of time with people, so it's more about the depth now and making good use of the small amount of time that I'm given.

 I think a big struggle in all relationships is understanding this.  We tend to show love the way WE want to receive it and not necessarily how someone actually needs it.  Getting gifts is nice, but it doesn't give me the fuzzies the way a hug or a text message saying someone misses me or is thinking about me does.  But do I often do exactly the same thing? Yup.  I love people, and I tend to show them by making time. That's not always the best way to communicate and make people truly happy though.

 I've been thinking a lot about this lately.  I've had a lot of time on my hands and had a few things that have really been bothering me.  I have really been trying to sort through it all.

 I want to do a better job of really listening to people and what they need.  I have had so much going on lately, and I haven't really been getting what I NEED and it's made me think a lot about whether I do the same thing.  

 I probably do.  That is something worth working on.

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