The Stephanie Files

I still may not know what I want to be when I grow up but I do know that I want to live at home filled with books and travel souvenirs.  And the walls that aren't covered in bookshelves will be covered with photos of my family and friends. When I leave home I will be going to a job I love, and I'll return to a person I love. So that is the dream I am working on. This is so perfect.  When I was younger, I had such a specific image of what life would look like by now .  In college I had the 4 year plan, I was going to work for a very specific company, and wanted a very specific job. Everything was laid out in my head and I truly thought that is what I needed to be happy. The perfect man, the perfect job, the perfect salary. My happiness was totally wrapped around what I felt was the perfect life.   Now that I am older, I am so thankful that life had other plans for me.  These days my goals are more fluid and flexible.  What I want more than anything is t...

One of my favorite movies is About Time.  While the concept is a little silly- a young man discovers he can time travel and tries to change his past in order to improve his future, the movie as a whole always leaves me with all of the feels (as the young kids say).  I love the real story behind the movie though which is about a man learning to accept his mistakes, grow from them, and in the process learn to find joy in the little things that make up his day instead of taking stalk in the day as a whole. So basically it is my life’s mantra in movie form.  It’s simply wonderful.  I watch that one a lot, especially when I have had a not so great day myself.  It’s just another way for me to remind myself to take a step back, breathe, and not stress so much. Yesterday was bad.  Actually, I take that back…yesterday was REALLY bad.  What I love about bad days though, is that it gives me the opportunity to choose to be happy and see the silver lining...

Date yourself.  Take yourself out to eat. Don't share your popcorn at the movies with anyone.  Stroll around an art museum alone.  Fall in love with canvases.  Fall in love with yourself. You know, someone told me some very similar advice when I was younger and I thought they were crazy.  Go somewhere by myself? What if people look at me?  What if they think I am sad and alone? The older I get though, the more I enjoy my own company. Sometimes more than being with others.  I used to be very scared of alone time- stuck in the quiet with my own thoughts and feelings.  I never really felt comfortable in my own skin.  I always felt like too much or not enough so being left alone with myself was a scary concept.  I didn't share what I was thinking with people. Hell, I was barely honest with myself sometimes, scared that what I was thinking or dreaming about wasn't normal.   I am not sure what I was so worried about or how I got to...